A Cat in the Shower
by Faye Coon
Summary: Surprises are very likely to occur on thi 'special' day. Friend and family find that Kyo is a bit more unpredicatble than they had thought. Warning, lemons and other forms of citrus ahead, strait, yaoi, yuri, theres no limit on my imagination!


_Ahem, I am announcing that this is my third attempt at writing fan fic, the other two were miserable, one came out like an essay, and the other one was more like I copied and pasted a role playing game, (actually it **was** based on a role play me and my friend Noah did. Whatever… this time I'm very confident this is going to turn out well. After much effort I think I've got all the stuff to create decent fan fic down, so please, no flames, I'll cry… Thanks much! Oh and I feel the need to warm my readers that things escalade, and don't just expect Yaoi, I do Yuri and Hetero too, possible citrus._

_I still wonder why you have to say this but no, I do not own anything that has to do with Fruits basket, Furuba, whatever you wanna call it. Master Takaya-san owns all that._

The Sohma house was unusually quiet and empty on this serene autumn day, even the most hated finches could be heard through the woods in back, not far past Yuki's garden. Normally Kyo Sohma would take advantage of his martial arts skill and nock the poor winged creatures' dead. Even more unusually Kyo was home! Not on the roof but in the kitchen, not far from the much occupied Momichi, playing pokemon on his gameboy (Amazing how Pokemon can tame the wildest children…). Kyon-kyon was frying eggs (not well but it was the fact that he took Tohru's advice that counts).

"Kyo! Where does Charizard live! I can't find him anywhere!" Momichi lie upside down now on the stiff Sohma in obvious child-type stress over broken toys and mal-functioning video games, etc. He looked down more and dropped his hat again from it's snug fit on his head, a very cute French type beret, with blue and pink ribbons tied around it, Momichi awaited Kyo to come out of the kitchen with advice and wailed again, "Kyon-Kyon! I want eggs, and where's Charizard!"

A fed up Kyo raged out of the kitchen rendering the little German boy to a girlish giggle because of the resemblance to the Charizard, "Hm hm hm he he he, Kyo, do you know where Charizard is! I got a wartortle, but I want a Charizard! Tell me, please!" Kyo frowned crabbily and turned back into the kitchen, "You're stupid Charizard's in the kitchen, come get your food!" This sent Momichi into hillarium and uncontrollable laughter, "Ah ha ha ha ha ha!" Until he could finally get up when it wasn't so funny when he thought how cruel the Charizard impersonator could become, Momichi slumped his way to the Sohma kitchen.

While the two were somewhat silently eating, as Momichi asked a couple of wonder-some questions and Kyo complained about Yuki and Shigure Sohma like an old man, the door was knocked on musically. 'Sama, who the hell could this be...' He went to get the door, a predictable frown on the cats face. Kyo began to unlock and open the door when it magically was thrust open; knocking the poor Kyon-kichi fell clumsily to the ground.

"I'm here! Everyone else is, right?" Surprise! The elusive Ayame has arrived, in a beautiful fall kimono! He wore the most peculiar face as he began wandering in the Sohma house expecting to find a horde of people eating dancing and doing Karaoke. He found none of this and began to lament as he plopped on the stiff couch, directly on the gameboy Momichi had been playing. "Huh? Kyo,-Kichi, are you still playing video games? I thought you were done with that childish phase. Ha ha, never too old to be a child again I suppose!" On that note, Momichi promptly showed himself, along with his imaginary charizard playing the role as Kyo. "Roar what are you doing here Ayame! Everything was going just fine without you!" Momichi smiled cutely and sat in the beautiful man's lap, "Kyon-kichi said he's sick of Yuki-chan being an over sensitive woman! He he!"Ayame smiled at this and the child obvious lack of faithfulness. Ayame gave his heady arrogant laugh, "Did he? Ha ha, I'd have to agree on that one, but Kyo, you're really quite the mean old lady yourself, just minus the parts that could possibly attract someone, ah ha ha ha!" Kyo was fuming like crazy, "Well I'M not the one who wears dresses and actually looks like a girl!" That was apparently the cat's big mean comment… If anything it put the two proud cross dressers into a higher frenzy of laughter!

Just then Hanajima and Uo-chan showed up by the front door in the ominous type of way the do. Hana-chan with her scary gothly way stared strait through Kyo now in an aggressive position towards Ayame and Momichi. Uo-chan had her eyes closed in thought, probably just wondering if they should stay, for Tohru wasn't there. Speechless and overwhelmed, Kyo simply blushed a bit and pouted into a more normal situation, "What are you two doing here?" Hana glared very evilly at the aggressive boy, sending not so evident chills up his spine, Arisa responded though, "We were told there was going to be a party, friends, Sohmas', whatever." Kyo was surely puzzled now, 'what the heck? Ayame and the Yankee, and the creepy psychic? A party! What's going on here?', "Whatever, there's no party, so get out! Hana kept her demonic look on as she pulled out a black papered gift, and Arisa, let her trench coat-thing slide off her shoulders revealing an army bullet type thing holding firecrackers and in the middle another gift, this one wrapped in shiny blue and purple paper, "In case you didn't know, you are now our hostage," Said the eerie Hana-chan, "You're not gonna like this Kyo-kun…" finished Momichi. Kyo was in total rage and shock, 'what's going on? I've got to escape…or beat that Yankee thug, Ayame's got to go to, and Momichi, and..'

As Kyo was making decision on which capturer he'd beat, Tohru magically appeared and strangled the kitty until he really did become a kitty, "Happy birthday Kyo!" Suddenly all the usual Sohmas' appeared from behind the house, the closets front doors etc. All yelling 'Happy birthday's at uneven times. Kyo eventually reformed to his human body, completely naked, ha ha in his birthday suit! There was plenty of food, but Kyo insisted on being a brat, he was actually showing a possibility of enjoying himself, until Kagura though it would be cool to molest him!

So the day drew to a close, and Kyo was back on the roof, wondering where the finches had their nests, hoping tomorrow he'd nock down the nests, "Damn finches…" A pebble came flying at Kyo from the back, he turned to discover Arisa pulling herself up onto the roof, "What the heck are you doing, the party's over, Yankee!" Uo-Chan chose to ignore Kyo's classic bitchiness that time, and sat in back of him looking down for a moment at Kyo, then up at the purplish sky becoming bluer and darker, "Hey, Kyo, why are you always so uptight…you should loosen up a bit…" Kyo gave himself a sinister smile, "Like you!" Buh bum! That was definitely not a comment Arisa was about to let him get away with! "What?" Kyo laughed weakly. Arisa stood up and gave him the dirtiest look in the world, contemplating if she should kick his sorry-ass off the roof, boiling with anger. Arisa, being the merciful goddess that she is made the decision that she would simply have to write yet another of her dozens of revenge notes, "Kyo, you re really not to great with women, are you?" Kyo almost looked back but caught himself and looked strait on again, "yea, whatever." Arisa smiled and got closer to the anti-social boy, "…But I do hear…you're pretty good with men…huh?" Kyo promptly turned red as a slab of liver and turned around, bearing a mean little pout making Arisa go back a bit, "Who do you think you are sayin' that? What the hell would you know! Little Akuma!" Arisa was no longer threatened (if you could call it that in the first place…) she returned to normal and smiled coolly, "Hey…I've never seen otherwise…so what do you-" With her sentence not even finished, Kyo-kun shoved his tongue into Uo-Chan's mouth, passionately and skillfully kissing and carnally taking advantage of the obviously 'loosened up' Arisa. Putting his strong hands up her shirt and enjoying himself thoroughly, when he suddenly found the oh-so sexy Yankee thugs hand swipe him across his face. "Huh? Wh-what the hell was that for!" Arisa half confused half completely moved yet bothered, but she was trying to make a habit of being a little less easy. "What do you think you're doing, don't touch me like that!" Arisa screeched a little too loudly, probably alerting the few that rested below, "Shit, Arisa you're gonna wake the whole house up…and why don't you just 'loosen up' a little! Huh?" The two exchanged mean looks and battled eyes, falling for one another again, till Uo broke the nastiness, smiled and looked down, "I didn't know…it's just…" "What, you thought just cus I don't act like that hentai weirdo Shigure, that I must be gay! I though it was obvious how I felt…" Arisa made out a bit of a very dikish chuckle, "Yea, you wanted Tohru though, am I right, she's like the Sohma magnet, or something." Kyo got angry and kindof popped up with mean eyes, when suddenly she went blank and dull in though , "what…why didn't I transform when we…" Arisa blushed, in obvious shock, "Oh…that…ah…ha ha ha, don't worry about it…" Kyo still puzzled gave her a quck peck again, and returned in wonderment.

The two sat in silence for a bit, and then heard a light creek on the other side of the roof, Kyo cussed, "Damn finches!" Arisa gave him a 'duh' look, "You dumb ass, birds don't come out in the night!" Kyo spat venomously, "well sorry for not knowing, I have more important things than school or whatever I have training!" Uo shown worry now and peered over the other side, not having leaned far enough to see anything, "Umm…Kyo…I think someone's there…" "Huh?" The two scooted towards the top to get a better look when who else would show up but…Ayame! Who shortly popped up with a discernable smile one, "He-llo! How are you two little love finches making out! Oh dear, no pun intended!" Ayame of course received all the punishment looks can get by the two finches whom scolded in chorus, "Get lost, NOW!" Ayame grinned at the comedy he found in it, "Oh, alright, but I do believe the only reason Kyon-kich hasn't transformed is because there is true love between you two, you know there was a very old story of a Sohma by the name of…" "Leave now Ayamae" whined the mean Charizard. Ayame smiled elegantly yet again and jumped down the chimney like Santa Claus! Kyo looked creepily into Arisa's eyes, "Are we…in…" Arisa frowned and stared back at Kyo, "Uh, maybe. But I think I know the reason and that's not it, so, bye!" She got up and stood clutsly with her shirt rumpled and socks rolled down, stretched with her back arched and arms above her head, yawning in show of boredom and restlessness. As she started to go out the moon roof on the building Kyo caught her shoulder holding her in place, "Where are you going? Tell me!" Risa didn't even turn around and pushed him off hard, "Disneyland…my kitten…"

_There, I like it, how bout you? Why don' cha tell me, review it! And it did kind of just flow, as I believe it should to be a good story. Frank if you see this, then you're a loser and probably skipped to the end to lie about reading it. And I am aware of that... Noah-sama, if your reading this…I want you to know my next Petshop fic's going to be dedicated to you, I lost like two of my old journals where we RP'd, but I'm going to try hard to recapture your essence once more, detective… Love to all my people! –Faye Coon_


End file.
